Recap

Well this year was a doozy, started by leaving my job, getting my life upside down, moving to a new city, regretting life choices, getting new friends and hoobys and trying to mature in the midst of a urban jungle.

If someone would have told me my future last year I would say they were full of bullshit, that I was good where I was and that if something was gonna change it was only my job, but fate likes to play with people and make the most unpredictable things come true.

In my time in Lisbon I have come to like some people and make others hate me with a passion but I have always taken a lesson from each of the experiences I came across and at the end of the day I guess that's what really matters.

I have found new passions, forsaken older ones and reinvented myself both physically and mentally, physical by bulking up about 10 kilos of mostly muscle and recently gaining a pair of them due to the feasts of this time of year and mentally by realizing that I must accept that some people will simply not like me and that I only should be myself and stop giving a fuck about everyone and everything, leave my efforts to those who return those efforts instead of just sucking up to people who only are gonna take those things for granted.

It has been a crazy storm of a year and the next doesn't seem less revolutionary but all I need to do is face one thing at a time and try to not forsake who I am along the way.

The path of the brave is full of obstacles.

The path of self improvement

The past few months have been busy but with a new challenge in life of basically deciding what the hell I'm gonna do now.

I got to the point where I don't have any ends goals or larger than life objectives, I am just drifting day by day, trying to survive and I don't want that. Because of that I have been self improving these pasts months, mostly mentally and physically.

But despise this deadlock I feel like I freed from many chains that I was carrying from the past, I have been working releasing myself from them but some are just too heavy to let go that simply.

I spent a week vacation in the starting position where everything seems simpler and brighter but everyplace is just a reminder of the chains I am trying to be set free of.

I fear I might not see my home city the same way again, the burden of living here again might be too much for me to handle and the world is so vast that I feel like just going around it and see what this world has to offer out of the borders I have been in all my life, I gave myself a few months to get myself in a stable position and decide what to do or where to go next.

I already have good things going on in Lisbon but I am not connected to the city, I am connected to the people who live there, both from the past or those who I just met recently.

I still didn't forget my promise to make it all better, and that person knows what I am talking about but I also know that person can make it so I don't lay my eyes on her for the rest of my life and I understand that. I am just preparing myself for the possibility of someday having a chance to fulfill that promise.

Like a master said to me: the path of self improvement is like walking a foggy road and every step you take the fog dissipates further and when the fog disappears you see that the road never ends. That's the never ending path of self improvement.

And with that mindset I walk on, not knowing what awaits me in the turns of the road, but determined to face whatever comes head on with everything I got.