All in

I never wanted this to get to this point, if someone told me my life would be has it's right now I wouldn't believe it.

The regrets and barriers never been so high, so high I can't see how I can get over, it's too long to go around, it's to deep to go under, so I only have two choices right now. Be the boy who I was until now and run away from that barrier or be the man I know I can be and smash trough it.

That's why I train every single day now, I feel my body reaching it's limits but I have to keep going, I need to discipline myself to finally become a man.

I need to prepare myself for that moment, that second chance, that might never arrive and if never arrives it's just fate telling me that actions have consequences and that I need to be stronger to never loose it all again.

I have always been weak and just OK with it but no more! I will risk my body mentally and physically just to have the smallest of chances of having a second chance at life, correct the bad things I done and perhaps understand the right path other than this dark one I am walking.

I know the odds are greatly against me of even having the chance to correct my past mistakes but not fighting for it and ignoring it never got me nothing, only a bubble to make myself feel better and feed this illusion that everything is alright.

It's all or nothing right now and I don't have anything left to loose.

Hope

Can't stop listening to this music on repeat and thinking how things could be better, hope is the only thing left for me and the only thing that will keep me fighting for a better tomorrow. 

Nothing is worse than wanting to fight for something that matters but never get the chance to do so.